I am God

I am God! Well, not really, more third cousin twice removed and adopted. I have nearly omnipresent powers. 

I am all-powerful! momentarily in certain circumstances. 

I am immortal, under certain conditions and circumstances of which I have no control over.

You may bow down to me! Or stand or nonchalantly sit, it's really up to you. 

You will have no other gods before me! But really that's more of a suggestion. Not that I really want to push anything on you at this time. I'll be happy with just you knowing my name. 

In the correct lighting, under the right conditions, slightly changing the definition of, I have worked many miracles!

Now that I have shown myself to you... I expect... Okay so now you're going to kick me right? Oh really, you're just going to throw rocks at me now. I don't really think it's necessary for you to rip up my clothing. Oh come on, who really throws dirty diapers at people?

Okay! So I didn't create you people. And no, I didn't give up a son for you people! But can't a distant cousin removed and adopted deity get a little love out of you? It's not like you're giving the Big G what you have anymore.