My Voice

3/22/15 

When did I lose my voice?
The Tempest of my paragraphs turned to the breeze of my sentences then to the stirring of my words to the empty silence of stillness.

When did I lose my song?
The chorus of Angels that led from one action to another to the ballad that shifted the weight to the quiet hum that spoke of assurance to the droning nothingness without a tune.

When did I lose my words?
The pain of silence. The unmatched despair of loneliness. Deprivation without representation. Imprisonment out of the reach of companionship. Unrequited, unforgiven, unwanted, unneeded. Deliberate misunderstanding misrepresentation mishandled emotions.

When did I lose my sight?
Tomorrow unknown bright and hopeful. The wonder so intense leaving an afterimage that shines even in the dreams. The wonder and amazement to behold the smile or laugh.

When did I lose?
In this empty existence. Loss of connection loss of empathy loss of harmony. Kindness abandoned love imprisoned assassination of compassion. Freedom the pursuit of happiness. Reason sanity purpose touch. Acknowledgment of existence compensation for sacrifice value for worth.

When do I lose what I gained when I loss? When do I lose the knowledge of the truth? When do I lose the pain of the knowledge of the truth that wasn’t true? When do I lose the pretense of any of this mattering?

How do I find when I lost what found me?