Eat your War, it's good for you!

I sat across the battlefield tonight. I sat across the battlefield and I saw the eyes of the enemy. He was green.

Late in the evening before full moon rise, we pre-salted the area. The enemy was there. By God he was there! No one ever truly wants war. Outwardly we all cry for peace. But war is all mankind truly ever gets. And the enemy was there. He was green. I long ago put down my sword and shield. Turned into plowshares long ago to cultivate the fields and growing to create something in this new utopia that I hoped to be mine. But the enemy was there!

Oh mean mean green bean. Enemy bean on my plate that I've seen.

Everyone was counting on me. Everyone needed me to be the soldier that I was born to be. Trained to be. Excelled at being. The enemy had to die for me to have a future. How many others have taken to a battlefield not unlike the one I set today? This time on the fields of Applebee's. But what of tomorrow? Chili's, Denny's, even the all too common lands of IHOP? No, there can be no peace. The enemy is here, and he will give me no rest. One of us must not leave this field.

As usual my foes outnumbered me. As is their kind they would not back down. I had no allies. No band of Brothers. No butter. So I pre-salted the field of battle. And I waited, and I prayed, and I grabbed my fork. Inside I longed to cry out, God! Why? Please no! I can't! Outside I showed only the grim determination of the warrior who would not back down. Could not back down. Once more I was called upon to do that which civilians needed me to do. To once more throw myself into the fray. To once more be overcome with the madness of war!

They say it's always easier after the first. And so it was. The first went quickly. Then I relished in the next, and the next. I don't truly know when it was that I lost sense of who I am and what I had become. My mouth dripped with the juice of victory! It was a madness I can scarcely recall. But one after another they fell. Oh, how they fell. Oh, God why? So many. Soo many green.

Oh mean mean green bean. Enemy bean on my plate that I've seen. Over the places have you ever been.

I don't know when it ended. But I know I won. But the image of them falling one after another from the salted battle plate... I saw them. I saw them. Lord in heaven I saw them! They wouldn't run away. For the love of all that is protein why wouldn't they run away?! I need forgiveness. I need to be forgiven. But they're all gone. I have become Shiva destroyer of worlds. I am so unclean. There was no butter. They wouldn't run away. I had to do it. I had to do it. That's what the doctors told me. They said that I did my duty. They said I was a hero. They said I can't blame myself. But.....

They said I will recover in time. But I'm to stay here and rest. But all I can see is the pre-salted battle plate with no butter. Rows upon rows of enemy green. How I hate green. How I cry and cry for the bean. I do not wish the death of the vegetables, the things that grow. I wanted peace. I did not want a piece.

Oh green green green bean. Oh how I ate you when you were seen. Green green bean. Green green green bean.