Good Samaritan nomore.
I have always wanted to be a good and great man. I have always tried to be a hero from my stories.
I have made my mistakes. But always in quick course of time, fought to overturn them. Feeling every failure to my very core. I have fought the long and bitter fight while others have rested and drank the sweetest of wine.
I have been in the lifelong struggle of the true jihad. The one against the evil that is born inside of us all. Ourselves. I have prayed for strength. I prayed for wisdom. I have prayed for reprieve. I have received none.
Independent of my quest I have been kicked, stabbed, and blooded by the saintly cherished people of this land.
Tonight one of the dull-witted, self-absorbed, self proclaimed, good people, has prophesied and wished upon me a hell that they all too well know took the best of me.
I am done. How long must I try? How long without rest? How long do I watch and wait my turn? When the only pain ever laid before me was laid by the hands of the self-proclaimed good people? I am done.
So I say this because I know the demons in human clothing watch. They wait for whatever morsels they can scrap from my bones. I say this for what you proclaimed for and wished on my soul. May I now wish something on yours.
May you see in color and then die in a darkness that makes mine look like a supernova!
Not a wish from my hands. May you live the long life to know the color you have killed. But when your time comes and the maker chooses it. May you die in the darkness you created and wished for me. Now may your God fine mercy for you at the end of your days. Because he found none for me in mine......................
Very stark thoughts my friend. Yes we spend our lives being stalked by vermin nibbling at our heels, eagerly waiting for our inevitable times of weakness to strike blows from behind. But worry not for they are the true weak ones in our lives and can only hurt us if we kneel before them like sheep to be slaughtered. But we are not Sheep, we are men if strength and honor
ReplyDeleteThank you. But I fear I have been no better than one of the sheep in this matter.
DeleteWow, Ray. You seemed to have run into one of my old running buddies............I have yet
ReplyDeleteto find a way to remove their blade from my back....................powerful write here. V
That's the bad part for me. I was diagnosed hypersensitive years ago. For me that means the knives never come out of the back. I feel them every day. Every waking hour. And also being hyper-aware means everytime I close my eyes they stab at my eyes. Believe you me it's all I can do just the smile for the hours that I am awake.
DeleteOh, man, I never heard of that affliction! geez. Looks like you might be in the
Deletemarket for a miracle or two............hmmm
Not really am fliction the god would save you from. Foreman Affliction novel make sure you get. LOL
DeleteOpps.
DeleteNot really an affliction that God would save you from. More of an affliction to make sure you get. Lol