The Manifesto

Manifesto, what a stupid sounding word.

I have a brain with many wrinkles! The stupid don't stand a chance. But then again they are stupid. The insane know just how insane they are by my mere presents. Which of course doesn't make them any more sane but now they know it!

The monkeys in this cage are lying, filthy, two faced, and riddled with fleas. But it is their cage. I hate them and all the trees they swing from. But I also envy their community. The closeness, not the monkey part.

The constant ass scratching, poo flinging, and other odd mannerisms and ticks can lead any wrinkly brained individual to distraction. Although secretly I dream for the freedom of being one of the barrel of monkeys.

It's not a matriarchy or patriarchy because neither of the sexes agree on the sexes. So my demands will have to go out to whichever one of the hairy tailess simeons is in charge of this barrel of. It is beyond time that those of us with wrinkles stand tall! Yeah and if you have to ask then I'm not talkin about you.

If you want your banana Then you can keep it! I'm going to build a coconut wall and I'm going to get the Coconuts to pay for it! Under the new regime I promise that all medical care will be free. Mainly because it won't exist. But it'll still be free for everyone! Under the new leadership you will never have to worry about other monkeys with pointy sticks. I promise we will have the pointiest sticks. And when not being used to beat other monkeys over their head they will be in use beating you monkeys over the head.

In the new leadership, there will be freedom for all monkeys to watch whatever program, book, or movie, they wish to see. Given the fact that none of it has a single wrinkle involved in it's creation. There is a further promise for what you call government to supply all monkeys with a new object to throw fresh poo at.

I mean, can we talk? I watched personally a group of monkeys complaining about old, rich, white, monkeys. But the ones doing all the complaining where Old, Rich, White, Monkeys!! I mean. Come on. Even with poo in your eyes you have to see that! Then there was the group that complain about the monkeys with uniforms killing the ones without uniforms while killing their own without uniforms more than the ones with uniforms. It's enough to make your wrinkles tie themselves in a knot.

Supremacy of your multiple diversity monkey, fuck, circus has come to an end. Given enough time you would all probably knock your barrels over and roll over the cliff anyway. But who's got that kind of time to wait on that? After the takeover you will be offered a choice of barrel to belong to. You will keep those barrels. You will not transfer barrels. You can paint your barrels any color your fellow monkeys choose. You can decorate your barrels even. So long as you stay in your barrels and do not fling poo at the other barrels.

We, of many wrinkles, have watched you go about your lives thus far. We have seen the pain that you cause each other. And we know that deep down you like it. Why else would even a monkey keep doing it? We have witnessed the Russian Roulette you play with your pointy sticks. We've even seen a few of you test those sticks on themselves to make sure that they were just pointy enough. Even at that point just to clap as though they'd done something wonderful. No, really, I used to talk to her she absolutely tested her pointy stick on herself!

As a concession it has to be said that their children are soo adorable. Their eyes are so bright with wonder and questions. They're minds have some of the most honest and true wrinkles one could ever hope to have. That is of course until the older ones iron those wrinkles flat. You bastards! Some of you have written the most inspiring books. The most loving music. The most awe filled paintings. Which is strange because none of you seem to be moved by any of it.

Truth be told, while in the park I watched. And the laughter and the joy and the games that were played... For a moment I could almost forget that you were hairy tailless monkeys. Just for that moment you almost looked human... No, but that can't be. Maybe a trick of the light. Lack of sleep. We of many wrinkles have had a hard life. We too would like to sit and play. But when we try we have to dodge the poo. Because inevitably one of you monkeys is going to throw it. It seems to be your heart's desire. But I've been to your malls. I've been to your shopping centers. I've seen you walk the streets. Sometimes you look so peaceful and content. I have never known that for any length of time. Except for the once or twice when it turns out I was just being led to a place where multiple monkeys could throw massive amounts of poo.

You know what? Now that I think about it. This is your cage. I really don't have any business being in it and telling you how to be a monkey. I'm sorry. Sometimes with so many wrinkles, I forget. Carry on!

Eke eke

(Which is monkey for I'm sorry good bye. Find a sharper stick and a bigger banana. I know what you're thinking but monkey language is like that.)