Dune at 65MPH

I visited the El Paso Writers League this weekend. During the session there was a bit of a class on how to move further in a career of writing. It mostly dealt with, just start writing.

One of the first ideals was to re-create your favorite part of your favorite book. Do it word for word to get use to writing.

 

The next suggestion was to find your favorite scene and rewrite it! Now you’re cooking with Crisco!

 

I also added that I use a program called Dragon naturally speaking which is a speech to text program. The more I thought about Kari’s suggestion, the more I thought about putting on a mic and leaving the laptop running as I drove up to Albuquerque Sunday night. And being the total geek that I am I knew I would do it.

 

Before I even got to the truck, I had a vision of a scene from one of my favorite books that I just happen to be re-listening to.

 

So here for your enjoyment, disgust, or boredom, is a scene from the book Dune. Written at 65 miles an hour! Damn I’d say I’m good but I’m not the one who has to read this LOL

FYI I’ll link the original movie scene so you can judge for yourself

 

Dune at 65MPH

 

It was late even for me. But my mother, known as Lady Jessica to those outside of the family and her mentor the Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam, insisted on this late-night rendezvous. We met in my mother's private chamber in the castle. Making this meeting all the more ominous because I had rarely ever been in her secret sanctum.

 

Upon entering the room things did not get any better. Sitting in the middle of the room was the Reverend Mother. Standing to her side like some sort of gaelic bodyguard stood my mother. I remembered her words when she told me of this meeting.

 

“Paul this is very important. One of the most important and dangerous things I've ever asked of you. But I do ask it of you. I will explain when I can. But it is of most importance that you obey the Reverend Mother when you meet with her.”

 

Those are the words that ring through my ears as I witness this opening gambit. I long ago suspected that there would be a price to pay for my mother teaching me the ways of the Sisterhood. Which is typically reserved for females. And even the few men that I had heard of that had been trained in some of their ways, it seemed to be a rarity. I know they did not give up their secrets, even the few that were given without a cost. Tonight, I would find out what that cost is.

 

Welcome young master. I, as you know am the Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam. Your mother's former teacher. Jessica, post yourself outside of this chamber. Let none enter! And let none, even yourself, interfere!

 

What gives you the right!, to speak to the lady Jessica in such a fashion? You may be the Reverend Mother, but she is the lady of this house and Bound Concubine of my father, the Duke! I strained to remember my mother's request. But seeing her talked down to! In such a manner, was straining my control of emotions… I held onto the training that my mother had given me to calm the nerves, order the mind. Something told me that even with all the training that she has given me along with my other teachers this would be a trying encounter.

 

What gives me the right? What gives me the right in this?! Long before she was your father's, she was mine! The ties to the sisterhood do not dilute in mating. Now, sit before me young master!

 

The tenor in volume of words! She was using voice! My mother has taught me this. Should I be worried? This Reverend Mother seeks to control me with her abilities. Surely, she must know my mother has trained me to resist. Or, maybe she doesn't? Either way, this old woman is about to be a fool and she's wearing on my last nerve.

 

Young master, I've come to test you.

 

Test me? What would the sisterhood need to test me for?

 

That is for us to evaluate and you to submit.

 

Ma'am let me say this now so there are no miscommunications between us.. My name is Paul Atreides Jenkins. I am not a boy. I am not a lackey. And I am not one of your acolytes. Tread lightly Ma'am because you're about to get on my last nerve.

 

Your last nerve? Young man, you seem to think me incapable. With your mother outside that door, no one will save you.

 

My eyebrow raises.

 

No, not even for you, her son. She knows this must be done.

 

Logically I know not to worry. My Mother loves me. But I'm not 100% sure she knows what her mentor has planned for me. Either way I'm not sure I want to be part of the plan. This old woman’s time is growing short and I don't even think she realizes it.

You no doubt are thinking that I am somehow a lesser danger to you. And that you can easily sweep me aside if I asked more than you're willing to give. You would be wrong young master. To begin, I need you to put your hand in this box.

 

For the briefest of moments, I think thoughts that are far beyond possibility. Does this old crow realize in our language here on Caladan what she is just asked me to do? The son of a Duke? Of course, it’s absurd. And it almost makes me laugh out right. No doubt this Reverend Mother sees the humor behind my eyes. I must do a better job concealing it.

 

I assure you young master this is no joke. Now, if you would please. Place your hand in the box.

 

It seems harmless. So, I place my hand into the box that is in her lap. It's an innocent enough looking box. No ornaments. No jewelry. What's more, nothing on it appears nefarious. But still, I have to ask. Reverend Mother, what's in the box?

 

Now I see I've your curiosity young master. This is the crucial part of the test. In this box, is pain.

 

Instinctively at the uttering of those words I go to remove my hand from this alleged device. But as quick as I send the signal to my hand to obey, the Reverend Mother counters with...

 

What you feel at your neck young master is referred to as the Gom Jabbar. On its needle tip is a very potent and quick poison. Where I to but scratch your cheek, it would kill you before your body hit the floor. You may think yourself quick enough to escape young master. But my Gom Jabbar is far closer to your cheek than you would like. And I am far faster than you think you can handle. Before you ask, yes. Your mother knows. It was I who tested her in her time.

 

I begin to move my lips in objection, in anger!

 

I know what it is you seek to say and feel young master. This is our test to see if you be worthy to be a human or an animal who cannot control itself. If you show yourself to be animal then we will dispense the universe of your presence. We have little need of more animals.

 

My mother has trained me in the ways of the Bene Gesserit sisterhood. My father has trained me in the ways of Statehood. Yueh has trained me in medicine and science. Hawat trained me in logic and reason. But Guerney and Duncan have trained me for stealth and violent action! I am done with this old lady. She is about to see my Gom Jabbar, I have seen hers!

 

The test begins before I can act. I start to feel a tingling in the hand that is in the box. The pain quickly gets worse. The Reverend Mother is saying something incoherent to me. She seems to be enjoying herself.

I am concentrating on what to do next. Obviously, she's only dealt with lesser beings.

 

No doubt young master you think that you can move and escape. But I tell you, I'm quite quicker than you might think.

 

My teachers Duncan and Gurney were always fond of saying that if your adversary has time to talk, they don't have heart to act. The switch is thrown.

 

Among my people we have a saying, “Fuck around and find out.”

 

My freehand moves of its own. With all the training and reflexes that I've been taught. The facade of the Royal flop and pop in J has been discarded. The true persona straight outta of Compton drops like a lead bullet on your birthday. My freehand doesn't go for her Jabbar at my cheek. Nor does it go for my hand in the box. My mentat training tells me that both of the two are likely spots my assailant would be guarded for. No, my freehand rushes the race with destiny and the Reverend Mother's cheek!

 

That's right folks. I slapped the shit outta of the Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam!

 

I don't take the time to wait to see the look on her face. Neither of my combat instructors are into that. With my bound hand I knock her wrist back from my cheek. Almost as one motion. She’s sprawled out onto the floor.

 

Placing foot on her wrist and my knee on her neck I observed my hand that was in the box. It would appear to be unharmed. Whether she realizes it or not this is the moment she saved her own life. She should’a asked somebody. Because I definitely ain’t the one…

 

It's my turn now. What in the everlasting Guild do you think you're doing? Lady, you obviously lost your mind! You must think that I'm some kind of trick. Well, let’s see if this is part of your test? I am Paul Atreides Jenkins. 

Second to leadership of house Atreides. I serve none. Not even my father. Least of all serve a dried out, bald headed, crone of a teacher. Pretending to be a Reverend Mother!

 

Now Gaius, I say we start again. I have witnessed your Gom Jabbar. Now you have witnessed mine. We are well past the time of fuckory. We are now into the time of, “find out”. And I'm going to run the clock on your ass, you best believe that.

 

Now I'm goanna give you a test. And we will see if you come out to be righteous, or some trifling trick. And with the latter I will remove from the universe, yet another useless trick.

 

I'm surprised mother never told you. But here on Caladan, we have a saying, “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes”.

 

So, everything I say from this point on, don't trip. I trust you no further than I can throw you. And if I throw you, your old ass will break. But before I let you up, I'll ask you once.

 

Are you goanna get down? Or Are you goanna lay down? The choice is yours. Think long, think wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lol So what do you think? Did I nail the assignment? LOL