Mars chapter three

We'd found it! But not it, her. Millions of miles from the birth planet of Earth she sits here in a martian cave. Not native to this planet as evidenced by the Metal Crystal hybrid casket she is encased in. The science department verified it is some kind of hibernation device. Which was easy to tell by the fact that this entity is as vital as if she had just fallen asleep.

She could not be native to Earth we had just arrived. Her Endless Night must have started long before we learned to watch the skies. And yet I knew I would find her? How? Again with this!? Everytime I look into the eyes of a woman I see the distant kernel of awareness. Like some sand worm in the Dune novels. All of the creatures possessing the same spark of awareness that only I can see. The same one being in all of the Great worms, Great Makers. My Shai-hulud.

The doctor say it's a delirium, an hallucination, a delusion. Brought on by a loss that I won't face. And yet I was drawn off of my own world onto this one. Pushed into holding on until I can hold out on Mars. Did she call to me? What is her kernel of awareness? What kind of backwater Sci-Fi Romance novel have I found myself in?

Since the day of the discovery I have been a bit unhinged. Sayana has put her husband on permanent Director watch. Even now as I stand before her sleeping form he stands in watch of me watching. But to watch me do what? I wish they would tell me. Because as I stand seeing what I cannot see in a place it should not be, I am lost. Maybe my guardian is only here to bring me back? So he stands and he watches.

This can't be a woman. This can't be an Earthling, human, her. But the same hazel green eyes. If she had wings I'd die. I know I was getting lost. I know it was all swirling around me. I felt his hand on my shoulder steadying me. He must have been talking, asking. I couldn't hear him. This could not be. She could not be. My Angel?

As I stood there gazing at what cannot be.
As I stood there gazing at what I knew would be.
As I stood there gazing at what I knew would define me.
As I stood there knowing this was not the end I sought.
Even my anchor to reality was at a loss of how to hold me.

~~~~~~~

Rejoice O Christmas Tidings but in my heart no cheer. For my soul is broke loose far far from here. My body inconsolable my tears have dried and gone. The husk I am yet wanderers from dusk till next day dawn. Will you help me? Will you care? Put money in my cup? Or will you just walk by and pray that I just shut up?