Could I have?

Could I have sat by the bedside of my ill stricken love and watched as the twilight of her days come to a close? Could I have held her hand and promise to quest the mysterious realm to find her in Thee Eternal Ever After? Happily or otherwise. 

Could I have looked into those beautiful eyes, framed her face and promised her, rest easy for eternity is but our play yard and that I would build her house on the shores of Everlasting. That this is just the prelude to the reward promised to us for our love.

Could I comfort her and urge her to close her eyes to rest? That I would be there when she woke in other lands. That I would serve at her feet on that day for eternity?

Such a romance.

Could I reverse the roles? Find the strength to comfort her to let me go? For only a short time until we rejoin? To let me travel first to the mysterious After. To build for her, her promised mansion. To arrange for her, her garden of colors unseen by man. Prepare the way and the denizens of this new uncharted country. So that they would know something special will one day come.

Could I convince her that every day I spent beyond our first meeting was a gift given to me by her, cherished by me to God? Could I tell her to keep her tears but give me her smile, what is the brightest thing beyond the Sun to take with me when day is done?

Could I hold her attention and tell her to be strong? Live another life, full of new stories to tell me in our Ever After? Could I make her believe that every rain after will be the moments I cherish and lovingly think of her In our new realm? Bleeding through to hers and caressing her cheeks.

Such a love!

Such thoughts and dreams unwelcome to this reality. Such emotion, strong and inconceivable to the general public. Such devotion to only be misunderstood by those without words.

Such a burning to remain unannounced. Such a fire to remain unclaimed. Such a drive to be without a road to travel. Such a hell to live and be known.

Such an energy to be contained, would eat at the very soul of any being. Such a powerful need to go forever seeking a use. Such a light to be unseen by sightless cows. Such anguish, pain, and despair at not being the one.

Could I have? I guess we'll never know.