The Campaign

I am here to announce my candidacy for Governor of the good state of Fuck it!

I have run for, and served a term as Mayor of the Capitol, of Dammit. I learned a lot about this great nation of ours serving Dammit. I know I can bring a lot to the table and bring Fuck it, up!

As citizens of Fuck, you all know how we all strive to bring Fuck it up. Even as Mayor there was never a day that you couldn't find me expounding the virtues of Dammit. Always in the Capitol building yelling Dammit, Dammit, Dammit! Well, now I think I can serve my constituents best by going all the way to Fuck! 

You might think it would be a long hard road to Fuck it. But let me just say, it's been all of you who have helped me reach for this lofty goal of Fuck it! I know I'll take the Governorship because I already feel Fucked! So without being encumbered by family, friends, and loved ones. I feel that I can devote my full time and experience to Fuck it!

From the little town of Shit. To my graduation from the great University of God-Dammit. Even through my time as Mayor of Dammit. Everything in my life has shown me that I was destined to be the Governor of the great State of Fuck it! Anytime you've all looked at me, you've said it. "He's Fucked!" "He is soo Fucked!" In your minds, your hearts, I have been fucked and fucked well! I'm here to say, in this great state of mine, I am ready. So let's all join together and say Fuck it!

Citizens of this great state. Don't wait till voting time. Go out now. Go out in large numbers. Don't sit on your hands at home. Go out right now vote for me. I want you all to get Fucked!

Please rise and sing with me our state song.