The Gulag

I want to hold you, before the others rush in. All the filters all the reasons to say then not to say. All the considerations, consolidations, moderations. 

I just want to be with you before I'm hit with all the things that I have to do, want to do, shouldn't do, before I have to re do, my promise to do.

I want to look into your eyes and see the you before. Before what happened to you. Before what you wanted to happen to you. Before the dream of what you wanted for you. Before you where forced to be you.

I want to hurry and tell you who I am. Before the censors restrict my words to protect the innocent to punish the guilty to not be misleading for the good of the many irrelevant to the needs of the few. Do not give the upper hand to get to the truth of it all.

It's all really is just a concentration camp you know... We're all just guards, prisoners, and administrators all at once. There's no chance of escape. The allies will not liberate this camp. The world is not going to rise up and seek Justice from this Injustice. The world knows/doesn't know it even exist. The moments I steal with you before all the others rush in to complicate the matter. Like the bread that I steal and eat in silence as a little celebration. Just before I catch me and report me to you, my own trustee for punishment. No tattered and worn out clothes. But tattered and worn out beliefs. Little bits of color in our personality. Inner linings hidden from the gaze of the guards.

But I'm one of the guards, I'm one of the prisoners, I'm one of the soldiers that patrols the perimeter! I won't set me free. I just want to hold you before the others rush in. I just want to lay my head in your lap before you're pulled away to go back to the woman's section. I just want to touch you before you become the guard and put me in the hole for the infraction.

I don't have much time. Quick, take this note! Don't let the guards/you see. We'll meet here when we can. Be safe. I won't forget you. They/us might stop us but they'll never own us!

LOL, Laugh out loud. ROTFL, Rolling on the floor laughing. HCFA, Holy Captain Fucken Amazing! Happiness, the stolen moments when we escape the trappings of civilization. Love, the moment we find the underground network to escape the occupation! Heaven, the refugee camp where we all breathe a sigh of relief because we're safe and free...

~~~~~~~

I'd like to sing a negro spiritual. "We shall overcome some day." But I know a guard who told me, "No, you won't"

So I'll just sit here and hold you until our guards pull us away from each other. And I'll remember that, and be free.....