The Introspection of a voice named "Bill"

The Introspection of a voice named "Bill"

Somebody once asked me or maybe it was a voice in my head. They all seem to blend together nowadays. What was my biggest writing accomplishment of 2024? It made me pause. Partially because the microwave hadn't done warming up my burrito. Not to mention the laundry wouldn't be done for another 15 minutes. But it made me pause also for the fact that I manage to vocalize and put into video so many writings. Some new some old. I managed to write a lot of music. I mean after all if I'm going to be the Kanye West of our times I have to get moving. Those adoring groupies aren't going to wait forever!

Then, ever the insistent one, the voice asked. What was the biggest challenge you face in 2024? Which I thought a little strange coming from a possible voice in my head. I mean wouldn't it know that putting up with the voices in my head would be a pretty lofty challenge in and of itself? But I had to admit with a sigh, breathing. Just the act of taking the next breath has been a chore the whole year. Just from the act of doing it I learned nothing ever changes. It's never going to get easier is it? Just as expected the voice had no answer to that.

The voice asked, how do I feel about what I'll right in 2025? This made me more than just a little worried considering if the voice didn't know and it's in my head. How in the hell was I supposed to know?! I mean after all I would get excited but I've never known when or where the inspiration is going to come from. A lot of times the inspirations are not necessarily bright and shiny. And although I'm used to the dark and gloomy, it in no way is a place I like to be. Not being comfortable with the view from the pit is a good thing. Isn't it?

I told the voice that one major goal I have for whatever I write in 2025, is to keep whatever reader I get on their toes. I've yet to see someone match me in imagination. Whatever the quality of what I do is, it is unique. I've yet to see a match in it. But of course that could be because it sucks to high hell. And once again of course the voice in my head was silent on that point. I didn't fail to mention to the voice and his silence on that could be seen as confirmation of my conclusion.

When I think of the music I've yet to write. The sonnets I've yet to sonn. And now my new acquired skill of animation. It all looks like it's in a room with the light out and a big question mark for a door. I've tried at other times to go in that room on purpose. And I always see a note hanging on the doorknob "Do Not Disturb!". Normally since this is my mind I would ignore it, throw the sign away and throw the door open! But I always notice the sock on the doorknob and I know much better than going into that room! I've learned that whenever, more than if ever, when the many voices in my head want me to know what's going on they'll come out and tell me. Which made the whole conversation with the voice in my head quite strange. I mean, wouldn't the voice know this? Isn't the voice one of the entities behind that sock covered doorknob?

I'd say this was all just a bad dream. But everyone's still alive and I'm not hurt. So I doubt it's one of those. Could it be that the voice isn't in my head? Naw, now that truly would be crazy talk. But still..... What if it did come from the outside? Ha ha ha, I can almost picture somebody saying it! Hell for that matter let's just call it Bill! Yeah, let's say Bill asked me. Yeah I may not want to share that in the public realm. Who in the world would believe me? A Bill, yeah right...

Well, enough of this random introspection. I am the PhantomTexter and my burrito is ready and my laundry will be ready before it's cooled. 2025 will be like all the other numbered years before it. The voices will pile out of the room hot sweaty and yes sticky. They will tell me what they want. I will do my best to do it. So shall it be written. So shall it be done!

LOL, right, Bill! LOL